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field notes

Approval: the most coveted prize we don’t need.  With our family and friends, at work or school, in religious communities or with our neighbors, we’re all driven to seek approval. 

Maybe you’re going into a new situation (meeting your partner’s family, or starting a new job) and you’re aware of how much you want the approval of the people you’re about to meet.  Maybe you feel like you don’t fully have the approval of a certain person or group in your life, and that weighs on you.  Maybe you do have it, but you’re so attached to keeping it, it’s stressing you out.   

 

Back in prehistoric times, we depended on our clan for survival, to the point that social rejection could mean death.  Though that hasn’t been literally true for a long time, we still carry around the stamp of that ancient terror, and crave the approval of our peers as though our lives depended on it.

 

Which they absolutely don’t.

 

There are some great readings on this in the section below, but some of the key ways out of this place are:

tools

  • Tickle yourself 

  • Offer compassion to the lizard

  • Laughter

  • Cute animals

[These will all be links with explanations once they're developed.]

readings

do it scared - 3.jpeg

Cathy Heller, 

Don't Keep Your Day Job

podcast homepage

Ruth Soukup, 

Do It Scared

podcast homepage

podcasts

songs

We gave you lots of options for where to listen to these songs so that you can pick your favorite platform (for example, you might have a membership with one).  If you don't have memberships,  SoundCloud might be your best bet.

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see also

craving approval, performance anxiety

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